Sea Monkeys!

I distinctly remember paging through a friend’s comic book when I was a kid and stumbling upon an advertisement for sea monkeys. When I saw the happy sea monkey family in the ad, I knew I wanted—no, needed—my very own sea monkeys. In my naïve little kid mind, I imagined an aquarium filled with castles and fake sea plants and all sorts of fun things for my sea monkeys to hangout in. I’d just add water and have my own “instant pets.” In my own home I’d have a “live sea-circus.” I fantasized about waking up every morning and waving at my happy sea monkeys, and imagined they'd cheerfully wave back at me. I couldn’t wait!

Finally, the sea monkey packet arrived in the mail. I followed the directions and waited… and waited. Yo-where were my sea monkey peeps?! Hmmm… I began to notice tiny things floating around, and although they appeared to be alive, they looked like bits of floating fish bowl detritus. Those were the sea monkeys? I think it was then that I learned about truth in advertising, or lack thereof.

Shortly thereafter our cleaning lady dumped out the sea monkey bowl. She thought it was just a dirty, empty fish bowl. My sea monkeys were too small for her to notice.

Sea monkeys, what a bullshit gimmick.