Can't Wait For School To Start!

Well, school is starting soon, and I can’t wait. I’m just shivering with excitement thinking about reading academic articles with titles like, Normative Political Correlates of Agenda Setting in Local Media: A Rearticulation of the Homologous Evaluative Approach, or Qualitative Functional Perspectives of the News Room: Reflecting on a Naturalistic Case Study, or Covariational Typology in Case Study Methodology: A Structuralist Interpretation of Althusserian-Hegemonic Theory… yada yada yada.

In most cases, these jargon-laden titles are academese for My Ideas Are So Fucking Bad I Have To Obfuscate Them With Obtuse Gobbledygook: A Case Study In The Suckers Who Actually Think I Know What I’m Talking About.

With this type of attitude, you may be wondering why am I bothering with school in the first place? Well, I want “M.A.” on my stupid resume, that’s why. I’ve been told it will make me just a tad bit more employable. So, I’ll just keep jumping through these hoops for one more year until they give me my damn certificate.

Watch our world: I’m almost ready to conquer you—I just need to get one more liberal arts degree.