Monday, August 08, 2005

Brooklyn

This posting is going to make me unpopular, but I don’t care. I’m gonna say it: Fuck Brooklyn. Yeah, fuck it.

Every time I turn on the TV, so many rappers, and artists, and comedians, and celebrities, or whatever, are always giving their “props” to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is always "in tha house." We always have to “give it up” for Brooklyn. Brooklyn can you hear me? What? Aight. What? Yo. Where it at? Brooklyn. Beastie boyz? Brooklyn. Where is J-Lo from? Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn.

I say, Fuck Brooklyn! Brooklyn can kiss my ass. And if you think Brooklyn is the end all-be all of cool places on earth, then fuck you too!

In fact, I’m getting sick of New York City in general. Scratch that. I’m not sick of NYC so much as I’m sick of a lot of the jackasses that live there. Listen up, New Yorkers: Merely living in NYC does not imbue you with some sort of coolness that the rest of the country lacks, even the Midwest.

We have ethnic restaurants here, too. We have Puerto Ricans here, too. We watch the same crap on TV that you do, too. We see the same movies, albeit a day or two later, that you see, too. Okay, so you have Broadway plays. But when was the last time you saw a Broadway play, Mr./Mrs./Ms. Sophisticated New Yorker? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Get off your high-horse.

Let's be clear: New York City or Brooklyn or wherever does not produce talent. Merely being from there does not make you more talented or more of an epicurean than the rest of us. No, the reality is that talented people are forced to migrate to NYC. Both the East and West coasts would be NOTHING were it not for the steady infusion of talented “heartland” people who have had to relocate to the coasts in order to further their careers. (or because winter in Wisconsin SUCKS!)

So, native New Yorkers, stop acting like you’re the trend-setters of America, because you’re not, despite what you think. And former Midwestern “heartlanders” who have moved to NYC, when you come back home to visit, get off your fucking high-horses because we are not impressed. We too could move to NYC, but we don’t feel like living in a closet for $3,000 a month. But hey, there’s Broadway Plays that we can’t afford to go watch, so that makes it worth it! (Count-down to when you move back home with your tail between your legs.)

P.S. To my cousin who lives in Brooklyn and my few other friends who live there: this message was directed at the other 2,465,326 people who live in Brooklyn, not you.

P.S.S. The truth is, I LOVE NYC and I love visiting!

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