Orientation

I went to an orientation for my job today. I had to drive for an hour and a half just to get there. Once I arrived four people, also slated to be “oriented,” began trickling in. Everybody was nice, and so I feel a bit bad writing the following, but here it goes: They all had fucked up teeth—one was missing a couple—and they all reeked of stale tobacco. I suppose you could say I was the only one who had an office job; the rest did other stuff related to printing and publishing. Anyway, we had a choice of drinks and snacks. I chose a little coffee to give me a boost after the long trip; in fact it was still early, 8:45AM to be precise. The others all chose Mountain Dew and chocolate bars. Throughout the never-ending-orientation they continued to suck down sodas and eat chocolate bars. When I left the room to relieve myself and returned, the entire room stank like an ashtray. Two were also coughing, sneezing and one was blowing thick gobs of snot into a tissue; you could just hear the viscous stuff burbling out. Yuck!

The orientation was all about stuff that anybody who’s ever had a job should be know: don’t get drunk at work; don’t get high at work; don’t sexually harass people at work; don’t be a racist; don’t pee on the floor.

Drove all that way for that! Oy!