Saturday, August 27, 2005

Predictions on the next fads

In the 1960’s it was a big deal for a man to have long hair. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see lips or septums pierced, faces tattooed, arms branded or foreheads textured with under-skin implants. As body modifications inexorably progress with the times, I believe it is just a matter of time before lip-plates make their debut in the America’s big cities. When you see somebody with a lip plate, remember, you read about it here first!

The Third World indigenous fad I'd like to popularize in America is the Papua New Guinean Penis Guord.

A War To Be Proud Of

Christopher Hitchens explains much better that I ever could why it was necessary and right to oust Saddam from power:

This state--Saddam's ruined and tortured and collapsing Iraq--had also met all the conditions under which a country may be deemed to have sacrificed its own legal sovereignty. To recapitulate: It had invaded its neighbors, committed genocide on its own soil, harbored and nurtured international thugs and killers, and flouted every provision of the Non-Proliferation Treaty. The United Nations, in this crisis, faced with regular insult to its own resolutions and its own character, had managed to set up a system of sanctions-based mutual corruption. In May 2003, had things gone on as they had been going, Saddam Hussein would have been due to fill Iraq's slot as chair of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament. Meanwhile, every species of gangster from the hero of the Achille Lauro hijacking to Abu Musab al Zarqawi was finding hospitality under Saddam's crumbling roof.

Readeth the holeth thingeth


I’ve been long confused about why the Upper Peninsula (UP) belongs to Michigan and not Wisconsin. The UP is territorially contiguous with Wisconsin and therefore it should belong to us. I think it’s time we liberate that which is rightfully ours by any means necessary, including armed struggle. That is why I am forming a brand new terrorist group: the Popular Front for the Liberation of the Upper Peninsula (PFLUP). The goal of the PFLUP is to unite the occupied UP with Wisconsin.

The following are the Fifteen Principles of the PFLUP. Every PFLUP member must pledge allegiance to the the Principles.

1. Wisconsin and the UP represent an indivisible territorial unit.

2. The People of Wisconsin possess the legal right to the UP and have the right to determine the destiny of the said territory in accordance with their wishes and entirely of their own accord.

3. The UP is a genuine, essential, and inherent part of Wisconsinite identity; it is transmitted from parents to children. The Michigan occupation of the UP does not negate Wisconsinite attachment in anyway to its beloved UP.

4. Michigan residents who reside in the UP will be considered Wisconsinites upon unification.

5. The UP and Wisconsin share an ancient material, spiritual, and historical connection—this is indisputable. All means of information and education must be adopted in order to acquaint the Wisconsin resident with the UP in the most profound manner. He must be prepared for the armed struggle and be ready to sacrifice his wealth, children, and life in order to liberate the long-suffering UP and reunite it with its Mother-state, Wisconsin.

6. Armed struggle is the only way to liberate the UP. That is the PFLUP’s overall strategy, not merely a tactical phase. The people of Wisconsin assert their absolute determination and firm resolution to use armed struggle for the sake of the UP and its eventual unification with Wisconsin.

7. Commando action constitutes the nucleus of the Wisconsinite popular liberation war for the UP. This requires its escalation, comprehensiveness, and the mobilization of all Wisconsin popular and educational efforts and their organization and involvement in the armed struggle for the UP. This requires achieving unity among all Wisconsin residents, whether from Milwaukee County, Dane County, Iron County, etc. All of Wisconsin must unify and mobilize to liberate our beloved UP.

8. Wisconsinites will have three mottos: State unity, county-wide mobilization, and liberation for the sake of the UP.

9. The people of Wisconsin believe in American unity. We call upon all of the States of the union to help us crush Michigan and hasten the unification of Wisconsin and the UP.

10. The inclusion of the UP as a part of the state of Michigan in 1837 was entirely illegal. Regardless of the passage of time, the UP will always belong to Wisconsin, even though Wisconsin did not become a state until 1848.

11. The People of Wisconsin reject all solutions which are substitutes for the total liberation of the UP and its unification with Wisconsin.

12. The Michigan occupation of the UP is organically associated with international imperialism and antagonistic to all action for liberation and to progressive movements in the world. It is racist and fanatic in its nature, aggressive, expansionist, and colonial in its aims, and fascist in its methods. The people of Wisconsin look for the support of all the progressive and peaceful forces and urge them all, irrespective of their affiliations and beliefs, to offer Wisconsinites all aid and support in their just struggle for the liberation of the UP.

13. The demand of security and peace, as well as the demand of right and justice, require all States in the Union to consider Michigan’s occupation of the UP as illegitimate.

14. The people of Wisconsin believe in the principles of justice, freedom, sovereignty, self-determination, human dignity, and in the right of all peoples to exercise them.

15. For the realization of the goals of this Charter and its principles, the Popular Front for the Liberation of the Upper Peninsula will perform its role in the liberation of the UP in accordance with the Constitution of this Organization.

Failure to pledge allegiance to the Principles will result in summary execution.

Death to Michigan!

Friday, August 26, 2005

The Legacy of Rap "Music"

Other than promoting violence, misogyny, materialism, braggadocio, ostentatious displays of wealth, and promiscuous sexuality—basically everything that disadvantaged inner-city youth could do without—rap music is also destroying a generation of potentially talented black musicians. I have no empirical data to back this up, but I do have what I think is a logical argument. Here it goes:

Before rap became wildly popular, most African-Americans listened to, well, music. The African-Americans who created some of America's most popular music naturally had to master musical instruments in order to create it. Indeed, without the musical influence of African-Americans there would be no rock-n-roll, no blues, jazz, et cetera. Were it not for their influence, American music would be about as innovative and cool as French or Dutch music.

Before the early 1980’s, African-American kids would turn on the radio to listen to their favorite bands or artists and they invariably heard a medley of musical instruments working together to weave often-times complex songs. Inspired to emulate their musical idols, young blacks picked up musical instruments and, either by innate talent, music lessons or a mixture of the two, learned how to play musical instruments, thus creating some of the best music in any genre you can imagine.

It’s been known for a long time that there is a link between learning a musical instrument, listening to complex music, and increased intelligence. Unfortunately, because of the massive popularity of rap music—which mostly does not require musical instruments to create, and thus little musical talent—thousands of young African-Americans will never pick up a musical instrument or listen to any other type of music. I think that is a shame.

Tough Jew

I love tough Jews. It still freaks me out that Jews used to dominate boxing in America.

In front of a capacity crowd in New York City, Dmitriy "The Star of David" Salita (23-0, 14 KO's) crushed Shawn "The Educator" Gallegos (15-2, 5 KO's) to win the NABA junior welterweight championship and become the first Jewish boxing champion in close to 30 years. At 2:37 in the ninth round, the referee called the fight and declared Salita the victor by TKO.

I wrote an article about Jewish boxers a few years ago.

History of Wisconsin

I’m enrolled to take a History of Wisconsin course this fall and I’m quite excited about it. The other day when I was at my neighbor’s house I noticed a book about the history of Milwaukee, so I axed if I could borrow it. The book is helping me appreciate the local history here. I never much considered the history of my city or state, probably because compared to the history of Europe, or the ancient Middle East, or the far east, Wisconsin’s history didn’t seem very sexy. But if you can get in the right mindset, Wisconsin history is HOT—ooh baby.

So many places here have Indian names, but when you’re born here you take it for granted. Places like “Waukesha”—an Indian name—seem just as vernacular as “Appleton” or “Green Bay.”

My dad used to work for a company that did a lot of business in Germany. I remember him telling me once about the time he was escorting his German associates around Milwaukee and the surrounding area. Every time they encountered a street sign with a “strange” name the Germans would laugh about it. “Ja, ha ha, look Hans, zat sign says ‘Menominee—ha ha, ja, funny! Vhat!? Look at zat von, it says Vauvatosa! And over zere is Vaukesha-ja! Ha ha! Ja, and zere is Muskego! Oh, and look, vee are approaching… Germantown…?... vhich is norse of… New Berlin…Vhat?”

Anyway, I’m excited to learn more about Wisconsin and Milwaukee not only because I enjoy learning, but because I think Wisconsin history will make for great party conversation (just kidding).

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Daoud al-Chappelle

What's going on with Dave Chappelle?

This is Chappelle's second trip to South Africa. He first came to Durban, and visited Salim, in 2000. Chappelle won't tell me exactly how he met Salim but describes him as a family friend. A soft-spoken Muslim, Salim seems also to be something of a sounding board to Chappelle, who converted to Islam several years ago.

Let’s just hope that Islam doesn’t do to Chappelle’s comedy what it did to Cat Steven's (Yusuf Islam's) music.

The worst thing about winter…

…is that it can make us anti-social.

I just spent the evening hanging out with my neighbors; something we do on a regular, albeit impromptu, fashion.

It usually begins with two of us casually chatting in front of one of our houses. If we have dogs, they run around and play together. Chairs are invariably pulled out and beers cracked open. Other neighbors see what’s going on and they join the fun. Maybe they bring over some wine, or something to munch on—like cheese and crackers, or olives. Because it’s summer and the windows are open, we turn up the music so that it can be heard outside of the house. All the while local kids run around screaming in delight, playing with the dogs and each other as they stuff themselves full of candy.

Tonight was a particularly nice “party.” I made a beer run and my neighbor Chris—a great cook—served up homemade pesto, four different kinds of cheeses, two types of olives, refreshing pasta, and some grilled chicken and spicy Italian sausages.

We still have one more month of warm weather, but I’m already saddened by the fact that once it gets cold, these impromptu neighborhood hangout sessions will be over until next summer. Yeah, we’ll all get together for a house party or two, but it’s not the same.

It reminds me of the time years ago when my ex-Israeli/current southern California relatives made a visit to Milwaukee during winter. My “aunt” Rachel commented that the city seemed like a ghost town because the streets were empty. She was right. Winter does that.

This doesn’t mean that I hate winter completely. I’ll always have fond memories of winter, and I can’t imagine the Christmas, er, I mean Chanukkah, season without snow. But when half of the year’s whether is so crappy that you want to remain ensconced inside your home, it has a way of decreasing your quality of life.

Anyway, I just got a call from my neighbor. They are very disappointed in me because apparently one of the six packs of beer I bought—Becks—was non-alcoholic. Oops. I feel a bit foolish.

Here's to summer!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Study Links Daydreaming, Alzheimer's

This study is NOT a joke, apparently. As a child, a teacher of mine used to call me "space cadet." I guess I'm pretty much screwed. Dang.

WMD’s and chocolate chip cookies

I can't believe people are still crying that "Bush lied! Iraq didn't have WMD's!"

I’ve heard this specious argument so many times I feel like puking. Here is why the argument is specious:

(The following is a pretty stupid analogy, but try to follow me…)

Let’s pretend you came over to my house and I offered you some delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies. Let’s also pretend that I’m morbidly obese. As my friend, you tell me that I have to stop eating crap like cookies if I want to be healthy, but you know I have an uncontrollable sweet tooth coupled with absolutely no self-control. Still, you ask me, one friend to another, to stop gorging myself on cookies. I promise you that I’ll get rid of all of my existing cookies and will never make any more.

The next day you come over to see if I got rid of the cookies. The cookies are no where to be found, although for some suspicious reason when you ask to look in certain cupboards, I complain that you’re invading my privacy. After a little arguing, I agree to let you inspect the mystery cupboards—but not until the next day.

You return the next day suspicious about me and my cookie promises, but since you can find no sign of cookies—although you did find some cookie crumbs on my kitchen table that were not there yesterday—you warily accept that I am cookie-free.

In the following months you notice that I am still morbidly obese. You ask me about my diet, if I’ve been eating cookies, but I deny any consumption of cookies, although you swear you spotted a chocolate chip smudge in the corner of my fleshy mouth.

For years the same situation continues. I do not get any thinner, and I constantly make jokes about how good cookies taste, and how I wish I had some cookies, and that it was my right to eat cookies. Frustrated, you ask once again if you could inspect my home for cookies. I reluctantly agree.

When you enter you immediately notice that I have flour, baking soda, a two year-old package of Toll House Chocolate Chips, brown sugar, white sugar, vanilla extract, and eggs. A closer inspection uncovers a mixer and cookie trays—one of which is newly greased. You are rightly suspicious, but I counter that all of those ingredients were meant for different foods. In any event, I argue, if you and some of our friends can have cookies, why can’t I?

Eventually you come to the conclusion that you’ll never be able to prove that I’m eating cookies. You also realize that, even if I am not eating cookies now, I could easily cobble together all of the requisite ingredients to make cookies within a very short period of time in the near future. I have almost everything I need to make cookies, and the few ingredients I might be missing can be easily obtained through some of my fat friends.

In the real world

In my mind, the above analogy is very apropos to the cat-and-mouse game that Saddam played with the international community. Of course, WMD’s are much more dangerous than delectable chocolate chip cookies.

A lot of people still gleefully point our that because we didn’t find WMD’s in Iraq, it proves that George Bush “lied.” Where do these people get off thinking that Saddam’s regime was on trial in a US court of law? In international relations—especially when dealing with a fascist regime like Saddam’s—we are not obliged to prove “guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.” Saddam Hussein’s regime was “innocent” of not having WMD’s (or being able to produce them in a jiffy) in the same way that O.J. Simpson was “innocent” of double homicide; i.e. any rational person knows both are definitely NOT innocent.

Iraq LAUDED the attacks on 9/11 when even our archenemy Iran condemned them. There was (and is) evidence that shows links between Iraq and al-Qaeda, although perhaps not the type of evidence that would hold up on in US court of law. Additionally, for more than a decade Iraq flaunted scores of UN Security Council Resolutions.

George Bush is "guilty" of taking all that into consideration and deciding that we, as a country, were no longer going to keep our head stuck in the sand. Bush decided to move the burden of proof about whether Iraq was free of WMD’s away from us, the civilized world, and to focus it where it should be, on Iraq, the worst of the worst.

That's what the argument is all about and that's why I think that most people who claim Iraq was free of WMD's either don't know any better or are full of shi... um, cookie dough.

Vegetables Cause Cancer

Maybe Mom Was Wrong About Those Vegetables?
By Gita Krishnamurthy-Jayraman

Contrary to popular belief, green leafy vegetables are not as healthy as you may think.

Researches at Harvard Medical School have found that frequent consumption of vegetables such as broccoli, collard greens, spinach, and romaine lettuce can actually increase the risk of cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, hemorrhagic fever, the common cold, and heartburn. However, it was also found that individuals who consumed fried foods at least four times per week, in addition to consuming green leafy vegetables, decreased their risk of developing the aforementioned diseases by twenty percent, according to a report published in last month’s issue of The International Journal of Health and Diet.

The researchers conducted a case-control study involving 582 people who ate green leafy vegetables daily and 1,569 controls who did not. Participants hailed from the greater Boston area and were also queried about what other types of foods they consumed on regular basis.

"These data suggest that all along the medical establishment and professional dieticians have really had no idea what they have been talking about for some time," they wrote, noting that information about the basic food groups and the food pyramid was more guess-work than science.

"Further studies are needed to evaluate whether the association between some of the deadliest diseases know to man and green leafy vegetables is reproducible in prospective data not subject to recall bias," they added.

World Cancer Association chairman Prof. Helmut Heinrichen said the results "totally contradicts previous knowledge proving that consuming green leafy vegetables promotes overall good health.”

He added that this recent study “makes a mockery of much of the dietary suggestions promoted by the medical establishment [which] for a long time encouraged the regular consumption vegetables. Indeed, it turns out ‘junk foods’ such as french fries, hamburgers, hot dogs and other high-fat foods might actually be beneficial.”

According to the World Health Organization, 35 percent of all cancers are due to high-fat diets and being overweight.

But WHO Chairman Dr. Enrique Gonzales said that in light of these new findings, children should now be taught from a young age to lower their intake of vegetables and increase their consumption of “tasty fried foods."

This "article" is meant to be a parody of the sorts of academic journal-based "health" articles that we are constantly bombarded with.

Jihadis are like Nazis

Tory leadership candidate David Cameron gets it. -Hat tip: Dave Ray

Money quote:

"If only, some argue, we withdrew from Iraq, or Israel made massive concessions, then we would assuage Jihadist anger. That argument, while often advanced by well-meaning people, is as limited as the belief in the Thirties that, by allowing Germany to remilitarise the Rhineland or take over the Sudetenland, we would satisfy Nazi ambitions.

"As we discovered in the 1930s, a willingness to cede ground and duck confrontation is interpreted as fatal weakness. It can provide an incentive to escalate the struggle against a foe who clearly lacks the stomach for the fight. Indeed, in the 1990s the inaction of the West fed the belief among Osama bin Laden and his allies that we lacked the strength to defend ourselves."

Central African Republic

If you are from the Central African Republic and somebody asks you “What’s you nationality?” what do you say? “I am Central African Republican?” Or “Central African Republicanese?” Either one is a mouthful. They gotta change the name of that country, I tell ya.

Six Feet Under: RIP

The last episode of Six Feet Under had me tearing up—I admit it.

It also got me thinking about what should happen to my remains after I die. I like the idea of cremation. That way, instead of rotting in the frozen ground, I’ll be in a comfy jar in my loved-ones warm living rooms, surrounded by the sounds of home-life. I don’t want to be in only one jar; I want every close friend and relative to get a few tablespoons of Zak-dust for their own home. Nobody will have to drive far to visit my grave, and my corpse won’t be wasting valuable land.

Another thing that concerns me about a traditional Jewish burial is that anti-Semites are always desecrating our graves. If I am one day buried in the ground, I want my grave stone to read: “Attention anti-Semites: If you desecrate this grave, you will be relentlessly haunted for the remainder of your useless lives.”

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Grampa Saddam?

Am I nuts, or is there a bit of a resemblance between my late grandfather and Saddam Hussein?

Bad Drivers

Is it just me, or does bad driving come in bunches? What I mean is, how come when somebody commits an act of idiotic driving, seconds or minutes later yet another, and then usually another, person commits other idiotic acts of driving?

And it drives me mad when I pull behind somebody at a light, in the left lane, and just as the light turns green, the person puts on their left turn signal and then I’m stuck behind them. Had I known they were turning right, I would have positioned myself in the left lane and gone around 'em. Oh man, that’s really annoying!

My CAIR-Inspired Firing

Why is it that when political correctness rears its self-righteous head, the First Amendment is the first victim? Why does so-called political correctness invariably stifle freedom of speech? What's more politically incorrect than harming other peoples' freedom of speech?

The First Amendment and I have been evicted from ABC Radio in Washington, DC.
On July 25th, the Council on American-Islamic Relations demanded that I be “punished” for my on-air statements regarding Islam and its tragic connections to terrorism. Three days later, 630 WMAL and ABC Radio suspended me without pay for comments deemed “hate radio” by CAIR.

Resist the Leftist-Islamist Thought Police, read the rest.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Too much of a good thing

For some reason blogspot is not letting me upload an image, so I'll give you the URL to Mr. Greg Valentino's website. You think the average professional body-builder is freakishly muscular? You ain't seen nothin' yet.

And yes, he used steroids.

Hollywood is not what is used to be...

During and after WWII Hollywood produced patriotic films. Even the controversial Vietnam war was has spawned its fair share of movies lauding American soldiers, even American political aims.

There was nothing controversial about 9/11. We were attacked in the most vicious and cowardly manner. More American civilians were killed in that attack—on our own soil—than ever before. Why has there not been a movie about 9/11?

Why not a movie about the war in Iraq? Okay, it’s controversial, it’s still going on. Fine. Why not , then, at least a movie about the defeat of al-Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan after 9/11? Can’t we agree that getting rid of of the Taliban was laudable and good and in synch with progressive liberal values?

In the novel The Sum of all Fears by Tom Clancy, Arab terrorists obtain a nuclear device and detonate it in America. How come when Hollywood produced a movie version of the book, the bad guys were European neo-Nazis? Neo-Nazis are not a serious threat nowadays. Why a movie so purposefully divorced from reality?

If we are unwilling to identify the enemy—radical Islam—and if we’re unwilling to believe in the righteousness of our cause, then I fear that we may not win this war, for we are embroiled in a war of ideas just as much as a physical war.

Hollywood can’t bring itself to produce a realistic, objective movie about the war on terror, or rather the war against extremist Islam. Thanks to politically correct thought-control, we will never have an honest movie about modern terrorism. Why? Because the truth is that while not all Muslims are terrorists—almost all terrorists these days are Muslims! Not enough people are willing to admit that, and so we pretend that two-bit neo-Nazis thugs are sophisticated blood-thirsty international terrorists.

Despite the fact that WWII occurred over half a century ago, expect Hollywood to continue to cast German Nazis as the bad guys instead of extremist Muslims who are RIGHT NOW plotting ways to slaughter thousands of innocent Americans.

Can Hollywood elites stick their heads in the sand any further?

Thoughts On The ACLU

The American Civil Liberties Union performs, or used to perform, an important role in our society. Although at times the ACLU took positions that I found to be distasteful, I would remind myself that somebody had to be a stickler when it came to defending our legitimate civil liberties against the sometimes heavy-hand of government. If there was no ACLU, the rest of us would be asleep at the wheel while our civil liberties were chipped away, so the argument went. Thus, I was willing to overlook the cases in which the ACLU defended certain odious characters or positions; after all, it was a necessary sacrifice for the greater goal, right?

Since 9/11, however, I’ve come to deeply suspect the motives of the ACLU. Perhaps pre-9/11 I was blind to it, but lately the ACLU seems like nothing more than a partisan, far-left organization dedicated more to guarding the “rights” of those who would kill us in our thousands at the expense of the right of Americans to not get blown up. The result is that they’ve lost site of the bigger picture—the very real specter of mass casualty terrorism. This is a typical case of failing to see the forest from the trees.

Now, the ACLU has also seem to taken up the cause of Islam in America. In a recent case in Greensboro, NC, the ACLU has joined up with the Hamas-connected Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) to allow Muslims to take an oath on the Koran in court. I don’t have a problem with this, per se, but my eye-brow is seriously raised when the ACLU—who normally stops at nothing to expunge all traces of religion (Christianity) from American public life—teams up with CAIR in a case of promoting religion in public life.

In the aftermath of the suicide backpack bombings in London, the New York police announced their intention to check bags in the subways. The ACLU cried foul, acting as if the government had some nefarious ulterior motives in checking bags for bombs. But in light of the attacks in London and continued threats against us, as well as the numerous foiled attacks in the last few years, the reality is that there is legitimate and prudent reasons to check bags.

When you take into account the ACLU’s opposition to nearly every attempt by our government to fight terrorism, it makes you wonder just who, exactly, the ACLU is really protecting. Whose side are they on? Why do they feel more like the ICLU—Islamist Civil Liberties Union? Despite their arguments otherwise, I no longer believe that the ACLU is performing a valuable, albeit unpopular at times, role. These days they feel like the lawyers for the enemy, and not much more.

If, God forbid, there is another huge attack in this country (and there probably will be), we need to remember that every step of the way, the ACLU has done everything in its power to make the job of terror prevention as difficult as possible for our government and police forces.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

"No!" To Shariah In Iraq

The issue of WMD’s was not the primary reason I supported the removal of Saddam’s Hussein’s evil Ba’athist regime from power. My biggest hope was, and remains, that Iraqis would elect a government that would then write a constitution protecting the human rights of all Iraqis. After that, my hope was that this would create a ripple effect of support for democracy and human rights across the region.

The Iraqis have done the first part. But now to my deep shock and dismay it looks like the Shiites in Iraq—with the acquiescence of the US State Department—are on the verge of codifying Islamic Law (shariah) as the—and not a—source of law in Iraq.

Shariah is simply not compatible with modern standards of human rights. Shariah suppresses women, mandates the executions of homosexuals and promotes barbaric punishments such as amputation of limbs and stonings. Any Muslim who wishes to change his or her religion is condemned to death for the crime of apostasy.

Everything our country has sacrificed will be severely diminished if this travesty occurs. If this concerns you, contact the US State Department and let them know how you feel.

Our brave men and women did not sacrifice their lives for shariah!

Hat tip: Charles at LGF

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